mnmlist: I couldn’t help myself
We’ve all said this strange phrase at some point. There seem to be two people in this sentence: I and myself. One is good. It’s the one that would act sensibly all the time if the other one wasn’t there to mess it up. It’s the one who would eat well, exercise regularly, get up early without complaint and get some flimmin work done.
This is g-me. But g-me isn’t alone. Just like a Numskull comic strip, someone else lives in my head. b-me is lazy, loves fatty and salty foods, hates exercise and is so very, very clever and persuasive. b-me will always agree in a meeting that g-me is right and that things need to change. b-me agrees that we’ll have more energy, be better to be around and even live longer if we make these changes. Then when it comes to it, b-me makes an excuse and pulls g-me back and makes it hard for him.
b-me isn’t to be trusted most of the time but he does know how to have a good time. For example, Eggs Benedict would be b-me’s idea. g-me loves Eggs Benedict but if was up to g-me, we’d never have it.
So should be
done with these squabbling children? Lurching unthinkingly between good me and bad me is no way to live a life. What I try to do is be aware, to have a space between thought and action. For me, this is the
is definition of awareness. It is better than thought. Thought is blithering idiot compared to awareness. That’s why I prefer awareness to make my decisions.